Full transcript of Dolores’s statement:

Why did you decide to take the SHAP?

I decided to take the Shamanic Healing Apprenticeship Program because of ongoing dreams I was having, and it was a time in my life when I was looking for something more meaningful, something that would give me tools and skills that I needed so I can contribute back to the higher good in a structured way.

I lived in Wyoming for ten and a half years, and it was the end of my first year living there when I first heard of shamanism through the Foundation for Shamanic Studies. I had taken several of their courses over the years, but it just didn’t feel like quite the right fit. And then I had met people during my travels across the country in my [social] work, and I met somebody who was a curandera, and I met somebody else who was a Celtic shaman, but they just didn’t feel right. And I would look at people’s approaches and their philosophies and styles of teaching, and this one just felt right. It was something that would enable me to keep working, I wouldn’t have to move and go away and live somewhere. And I also looked at the instructor’s lifestyle, and the things she did in her work, and it was one that reflected back to contributing to the higher good. And you could feel her warmth, and the first time I met Lenore, her discipline, and sense of humor, and then looking over the curriculum, and just the schedule for the apprenticeship program, it looked like something that was very doable.

And I think about ethics, because in other trainings and through other people I studied shamanism with, there was a general discussion about ethics, but we never really explored it on an individual level, or in depth as we did through the SHAP. I think that’s also why I was compelled to sign up for this program, because you could see that ethics would be a part of it. With the other healing programs that I had experienced, it was almost like shopping at Wal-Mart, Super Wal-Mart: Everything was there and anybody could shop there. What was different about this training was, it was like going to Nordstrom’s, you could have somebody be your personal shopper. There was somebody that was really going to take time to engage before you even started shopping to find out what do you bring with you, what are your resources, what are you truly looking for, and matching you up with the right departments that you needed. And you could leave happy in that the product you purchase is going to be of use to you.

One thing the Shamanic Healing Apprenticeship Program also corresponds to is a dream I had many, many years ago, while still living in another state. That dream was about introducing shamanism to [Indian] adolescents. In my dream I was getting ready to teach adolescents about shamanism and how to journey, and the director of the program where I was working at the time said that I couldn’t do that, and I remember my dream saying, Well, there’s probably nobody there anyhow. And in the dream, when I go to the classroom, where all the adolescents are, they’re all sitting at these desks with blank expressions on their face. It looked like the lights were on but no one was home, and to me that dream ha a lot of meaning, and that is also why I took the Shamanic Healing Apprenticeship Program, as I felt it was time to manifest that dream in to reality, and learn some learn some ways that I could bring these teachings to our young people.

What are the most important things you learned?

[Of] the most important things I gained from going through the Shamanic Healing Apprenticeship Program, the biggest one was discipline. A lot of things have come to me  intuitively, and through my family, regarding what people call shamanism, but with going through the course and practicing, and the peer circle, and the relationships that were formed with others in the program, it was discipline, and learning that discipline is not a negative thing, and by discipline I mean structure. In my line of work I think of it as project management: You need to have a goal. And that’s your intention when you’re doing this work: What’s your intention for doing this work, and what are the steps you’re going to take to get through the process.

The work that I’ve done throughout the time I’ve known of shamanism has always been working in the mental health field, as a social worker, and more recently working with programs for children and families, so my work requires me to work with tribal governments, urban Indian programs, health care providers, and most importantly I work with children, families, spiritual advisors in the community, and it requires a lot of relationship building. So that’s why I think about the Shamanic Healing Apprenticeship Program: Just like it takes discipline and intention when meeting with people in a community, it takes those same things when meeting with Spirit in the spirit realm. You don’t just go in [to a community] and say, Here I am, tell me your story, or Hey, help me out with this. The same is true of working with Spirit: There is a whole protocol you engage to go about connecting with Spirit, and connecting with your helpers on behalf of helping others, or helping the universe.

Can you give an example of what you mean by “discipline”?

An example of discipline is knowing which helpers you’ll call upon, depending on what your intention is. I think about before the program, how I used to go about journeying, I would just do it, no matter where I was, or if I just needed a quick check in with Spirit to get some information that may be of use to me or whomever I was helping. Before, it was my tendency just to work with people. But with the discipline that I got, I became more aware and mindful of protocol, and in doing so, that would make my relationship with Spirit stronger, and the information that I would receive, [while] not more credible or more reliable, was stronger: The information was more right-on for my self, or for the clients I was working with.

And discipline in knowing that there is a certain way you go about connecting with Spirit, and discipline to always give appreciation for the help and to the helpers who have stepped forth to work on behalf of the greater good. Also, the discipline in knowing what you’re going to do with the information that you’ve received, and how to deliver it.

That discipline also helped me to separate from myself—I noticed before entering the program I had a tendency to be stuck in my ego. Evidence of that would be when I might be very self-conscious of maybe how I would look when I was preparing to connect with Spirit, or very self-conscious about the information I was receiving: questioning it, thinking it was silly, or that I was making it up in my head. And the discipline to know to just let go of all of that, to abandon ego and just go with Spirit and to trust your helpers.

What are some surprising things you learned?

A couple of surprising things that I learned in the apprenticeship were related to my own family. I think about the one where, because my father is American Indian, I would tend to want to attribute all of my spiritual beliefs and spiritual gifts to my father’s side of the family, and my ancestors on that side. The one thing that surprised me the most was after doing the soul retrieval work, and journeying to find out what gifts we receive from our ancestors, and it came from my mother’s side: my mother, who was not raised with her birth family. And the surprise of connecting with birth relatives of that ancestry, and learning the gifts through my mother, who I thought because she was white didn’t have very many gifts to offer, and being able to transcend all the stuff that we learn about race, and that the larger culture teaches us. And learning that yes, [there are] the gifts of Catholicism that come through my mother’s side, seeing the messages of spirituality that come from that. One of the messages I was given from Spirit is from my mother’s side: the gift of Mary through Catholicism, and how the blessed Mother, the Virgin Mary, and the gifts of nurturing and motherhood and love and spirituality, connection to Spirit, that she models and gives, not just to me, but has always been there to give to my mother. And [I was] given a message and a teaching from her of something that I can tell my mother that would help my mother to be able to step into her own power around spirituality.

What do you plan to do with what you’ve learned?

I see myself taking all of the things that I’ve learned in the Apprenticeship Program, and adding them to my toolbox, and using them—not just letting them sit there to admire and polish every now and then, but to use them. I’ve been using some of them now in my current line of work, to help guide me as I’m developing goals and when I’m developing work plans with my communities. Sometimes I’ll journey to ask Spirit: I’ll ask what do I need to know before I travel to this community, or before I work with a certain client?

My plan is over the course of the next two years—I have my degree in Social Work, and I want to finish my clinical license so I can go and do some private practice in a couple years related to helping people, in a clinical way, but incorporating the shamanic healing methods into those interactions with my clients, and helping them to step back into their own power.

An example, I think about what’s different now in my current work that I do—because I do national consulting, I do presentations across the country to different organizations, government entities and communities, and most recently for the BIA. At one of their regional conferences, [I] was called upon and asked to do an opening plenary session. And when I had asked them what they wanted me to speak on, they said they wanted me to speak about something that would give hope to those that are there, and those that would be present in the audience would be people who are working with children’s services, with child welfare, juvenile justice—they’re working with families, and sometimes removing Indian children from the home and putting them into placement. So, to prepare for that plenary session, I had journeyed to ask my spirit helpers, What message do I need to deliver? And, Please help me by giving me the information I could use to deliver that.

The message I received was about soul loss: How just as individuals experience soul loss, so have families, and Indian families and communities continue to experience that soul loss. I was directed to deliver a message to the people who would be present at this conference, I was to tell them about the soul loss of Indian families, and incorporate in there the history of where that soul loss came from. And also share with them how it’s possible to call the spirit back, and how we can do that as a community, call the spirits back of our Indian families. So I went with that message from Spirit. And also that morning, in getting ready, I was told that I needed to voice appreciation for all the people who would be there, because they’re in jobs where they often do not get thanked. So that was part of the message, and afterwards we received very high regards for that presentation.

Since completing the apprenticeship program, as I’m going to pursue my clinical license, I’ve had some conversations with our office, and we have some partnerships with the local urban Indian organizations, and they offer services to families, and to adolescents and other young people, and one of the things I’d like to do there over the next couple years is to introduce the idea of shamanic healing, and teaching the young people how to do journey work so they can  get in touch with some of their helpers and help them to step into their power and experience that sense of empowerment, and to be able to call on their helpers to serve as guides in their daily life.

What advice would you give to someone considering the SHAP?

Some basic advice I have for people who are considering pursuing the SHAP? Nike says it best: Just do it! And you really just have to just do it. The fact that you’re even having thoughts about it is, to me, a sign that you need to pursue it and explore it. I put it off for a couple years, but it still was in the back of my mind, and I thought that financially it wasn’t possible. One thing that was true for me was that once I explored it, applied, and got accepted into the program, the financial resources opened up. Everything just fell into place the whole year of being in the Apprenticeship Program.

What are some things you know now that you didn’t know before the program?

Some of the things that I know now that I didn’t know before going into the SHAP are interconnected, the first starts with myself: I know I had a lot of self doubt, and that was the ego getting in the way, and questioning. For me personally, I was always fighting it, because I was brought up in a culture where you don’t go to school to learn about spiritual healing work with others, it’s something that’s inherited genetically—it comes through your bloodline, and through your family. And coming to really question reality, and to accept that it’s okay to lean about shamanism through others, even if they are not tribal people. And trusting in Spirit was another part of that. Individually learning to trust in Spirit, and once I was able to do that, then I could sort of let go of the baggage that held me back for several years before ever pursuing this Apprenticeship Program.

What I know now is, everything is possible, and the other things I know are the importance of ethics and discipline, and working with Spirit and working on behalf of the higher good. Because sometimes you’re not working with people, you’re working with animals, anything that has life force, and the one thing I know to be true is that everything has life force, whether it be a plant, an animal, an insect, person, water, tree. And so what I know now is the importance of accepting that responsibility, and knowing that there are ethics around that, and that you have a responsibility to the higher good, if you’re going to engage in using these skills and these tools, the rituals.

Can you say more about ethics?

In reference to ethics and doing shamanic healing work, before taking this program I would not have thought anything about doing healing work for a tree. I would see this tree that looked like it was dying, its leaves were brown, it was having some difficulty, so I would just go talk to my spirit guides and send some positive energy in that tree’s way. And what’s different now is learning that you can’t just meddle wherever you think something is in need of healing, you have to stop and do a check-in, and that’s the ethics of it all.

If it’s a tree, I need to stop and check in with that tree, and make sure that tree wants healing work. And the same with people. Sometimes we will meet people, and the old me, before this course, would have just walked up to someone and said, You know, from what you just described to me, I think a soul retrieval would be really helpful to you, and that’s what I think about ethics that’s different now: You have to think about; It’s not ust about you, you have to think about the people, the things that have life that are involved, who are the clients, and who are you doing this for: Is it for you, or is it for the higher good, and what’s the ethics of it all?

Sometimes now I do see people I think need soul retrieval, and I just keep my mouth shut. Sometimes now, if I meet people who tell me their story, I listen, and sometimes I may want to say, I think you really need a soul retrieval. But what I do differently now is I tell them a story in return. I feel they’ve just told me a story, so I’ll honor them, and exchange a story with them. So sometimes, if it’s somebody I already know, I will tell them my own story , and I share some of my personal healing over the years.

What was the role of the instructor in the program?

In Lenore’s role as instructor of the Apprenticeship Program, she served so many roles. She provided that discipline and structure that we needed as we were learning. So much of the Apprenticeship Program involved independent work—we had to independently do our readings, and do our class preparation work, and independently work with clients – we had homework we had to do. So, [she was] giving us structure when we would come together again as a circle to process that, and to learn from our experiences, asking the right questions. There were times you would be role playing or practicing actually doing the healing work with someone in the class, [and she was] observing, and sometimes when you felt yourself floundering, instead of scolding or getting on you because maybe you weren’t doing things, or maybe you’re forgetting because you’re in that altered state, [she was] guiding you along the way. So in that instructor role, [she was] also serving as a guide and a mentor.

The one thing that helped me the most was when we could watch Lenore. I’m a contextual learner, as well as I learn by doing, so when she was able to share with us some of her own experiences in doing shamanic healing work with others and with the earth, and being able to learn from that context.

The other part that was really, really helpful was when Lenore brought in one of her clients, who also gave permission to come in to be part of our class learning, and being able to watch her in action do her thing—watching how her own unique, individual style   in doing shamanic healing work, and watching her interact with her client—that was so helpful for me, I was able to catch onto things right away by observing that.

Can you talk a little about the homework?

Homework has a negative connotation in itself, but homework could be fun. The thing with the SHAP is you were given homework to do that required a great deal of reading, but you were reading things that for the most part you didn’t want to put down. They were interesting books that contributed to the learning and the skills that you were developing.

Homework also consisted of actually practicing what you were learning when you were together with your [peer] circle. So, finding someone who you could work with, who would be your client—your homework would consist of doing some of the things we had learned in the classroom, such as a power animal restoration, or teaching somebody how to journey.

And the homework that I really enjoyed is when we go to do things that enabled us to release our creativity. Activities like that were really helpful, they helped me to get grounded, and it also helped to connect with Spirit at the same time, because Spirit would work through you as you were being creative. [For example,] we had to make our personal demons we met in a journey, and so taking the image of something, or maybe something you sensed, in your journey, and bring it to life in a 3-D form through the use of clay. And we also had to design our own altars, again, making that after journeying. So bringing the things together [in ordinary reality] based on the information that you received in your journey.

Would you talk about your experience with your peer circle?

One component of the SHAP that was helpful, that felt like it could be a nuisance, at first, for me—because of my travel schedule and work schedule—was that of our peer circle. The peer circle is all of the people in a SHAP, the students. We would come together in between the times that our class met, and we would have work that we would do together. It was hard at first, because we were told that you had to meet as a peer circle, and we would take turns being the facilitator, the leader of that session’s peer circle, and having that openness, of not being quite sure—Well, what does it have to look like, how long does it have to be, what are we supposed to be doing? and finally realizing that we had the freedom to create what we wanted our peer circle to be like. So with our group, our peer circle, we often had an intention for the time we met, homework that we may be working on, and it always, always involved journeying and drumming, and sometimes discussions. A lot of times, though, it consisted of journeying on behalf of a client, whether that client be human or the earth or some other life form. And the peer circle also gave us a further opportunity to process what we were learning in the classroom, and to really strengthen our relationships, and you got to know each other, and a sense of trust and deep rapport developed. So at the point when the Apprenticeship Program was over, all of us had bonded so tightly. We had been through so much together—and to be interacting with somebody in an altered state and trusting, and for many of us, some of your deepest aspects of yourself were revealed to each other in that circle—so there’s a special bond that always will exist with our circle.

Is there a future for your peer circle?

Even though for many of us, our lives continue outside of class—we have obligations to our families, our careers, some of us have moved to different locations—but we still stay connected. And we chose to continue our circle, even after graduation, so even [though] sometimes we can’t all be together physically, we get together and meet, and we’re having continued plans to add some structure to that.

And some of us have even linked up with some other existing [shamanic] circles in the community, so that’s the other thing I see—that these smaller circles connect with larger circles, and all the power of Spirit that comes together through all of these connections.

We stay connected even when our peer circle can’t meet together. We have plans to do journeys on certain dates and times, so no matter where a person could be, they could be journeying from where they’re at, and that would be part of our intention: opening up the space wherever each of us may be, and doing our journeys together.

Our peer circle [has] a Yahoo group that we communicate through, so we will do postings on our Yahoo group to each other, and the Yahoo group also serves as a way to request journeys or to stay connected. We used it while we were in the Apprenticeship Program, and it continues to exist even after graduation, we stay connected there. And for many of us we also stay naturally connected through telephone and personal emails.

Is there anything else you would like to add?

I think about all the unexpected things that took place, and the unexpected messages we would receive in journeys, the unexpected laughter and songs and dances that we learned together as a circle, as a class. And it was a lot of fun. There is a lot of work, you’re in a very deep, spiritual place, but at the same time there’s fun! There was always time for laughter. I just think about how many times we laughed together, and how that helped you to make it through those weekends when you’ve started to get tired. And then, when it was the end of the Apprenticeship Program, how it was hard for us to leave, we didn’t want it to end, we wanted to keep on going, we wanted to learn more.

And another component involved residential learning, where we would come together as a class and stay together out in nature, away from it all, where you don’t have access to internet, TV, distractions, that could keep us from being spiritually connected. Being out in nature in that whole residential time, it was just a whole different level of learning. It was more intense, for me, that was my experience, it just felt more intense, we just felt more connected, because you could just feel the presence of Spirit all around, because you just are in such a natural setting.